And because I have the coolest friends, I was hearing a lot of buzz about the newest toy for women, It's called The Womanizer, and is designed to replicate the feel of a partner sucking on the clitoris.
(If you landed here by mistake, and explicit sexy talk gets your Church Lady knickers in a knot, the exit is thataway. Thank you, and have a pleasantly unsatisfying life.)
I determined that I was going to blow my income tax refund (don't hate me because I already got it and spent it) on one of these fine new toys. I bought it bundled with this lovely glass dildo and carrying case, because you never know when you might want to whip out a sex toy.
It would certainly make being stuck in traffic a lot more fun. (I jest, I jest, please don't vibe and drive!)
|Because I like to name my toys, and they are sexy whether together, or apart...|
Meet Jean-Luc and Number Two.
Noted in passing: one of my lovers made the snarky remark that Jean-Luc and Number Two were kinda inappropriate names, since they certainly weren't going where no man had gone before!
(Pay no attention, mes petites. Rude comments aside, I have chosen to make it so.)
|Here's a better picture of Jean-Luc. The small button is the on-off, the "jewel" controls intensity.|
Some of the things I discovered about Jean-Luc... Unlike other vibrators and toys, which can be protected with a condom or saran wrap, and shared among lovers, this one is one per customer. There is no way to safely wrap this device without interfering with the suction and vibrating.
I have shown it off to friends by having them wear a pair of nitrile gloves, and letting them insert a pinky finger to gauge the intensity and feel of it.
So, how did I like it?
I used it as part of sex play with a partner, and when I hit the right spot, O.M.G. He almost had to peel me off the ceiling.
In solo play, however, I really had to be in the right mood. I found I was easily distracted.
You see, Jean-Luc becomes warm, and lights up.
|You can't see the vibrating/sucking action, but you can tell by the glow, it's on.|
When I turned out the light, I was like a kid with a new toy.
Fascinated. Distracted. Oooh, isn't it pretty?
Actually, it's kind of hypnotizing. The humming, the glow, the vibrating...
It was like the friggin' Eye of Sauron, luring me in...
It's a really sad thing, when you're getting so hypnotized staring into the maw of your new vibrator that you forget to actually apply the thing where and as directed.
But, I did.
So, do I recommend you spend anywhere from $150-$200 on this fine piece of German engineering? It also comes (haha) in fuchsia/snowleopard, blue croc, a couple other colors and patterns, and in Swarovski crystals (because, what doesn't, these days?), in case you're not a fan of pink/croc.
IMO, like Patrick Stewart, Jean-Luc is totes sexy enough to rock the pink/croc.
And, I am not sure I do recommend it.
I am also not sure I don't.
I believe Jean-Luc and I will need to spend much more time trekking together, before I can truly determine whether these voyages should continue. Perhaps sometimes with, and sometimes without, Number Two.
Also, perhaps, we might need to try a blindfold. Or also, Lt. La Forge's VISOR.
After all, we're doing it for science.
If you've tried a Womanizer, have you got any tips?