Monday, December 9, 2013

Mistletoe, #Menday, & Medical Centers #USC

I think if you asked people where they wanted to spend the holiday season (whatever holiday you celebrate), a hospital would not be anyone's location of choice.

But when cancer (that rude bitch!) comes a-knockin, she don't care what time of the year it is. Luckily, there are many wonderful men and women who choose the medical profession, and they have been taking VERY good care of my oldest sister, who's had to go under the knife last week for gall bladder cancer.

And... even though I was all concerned for my sister and everything, I couldn't help but notice that damn! the place was crawling with McDreamy's.  Of course, as someone who writes smut erotic fiction, I reflexively notice such things. It's my gift.

Cropped version of Image:Nadal photographié.jpg
Since I didn't have the wit to get a picture of Needles, this will have to suffice to stoke your imagination.

Cropped version of Image:Nadal photographié.jpg (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

He Knows How To Stick It In

But I couldn't figure out why, as my brother-in-law and I took the pager (they give you a pager, like waiting for a restaurant table, and buzz you when there is an update) and grabbed a bite in the cafeteria, my brother-in-law was intently staring at this guy in scrubs. Granted, *I* followed his gaze and began checking the man out, too, because he was tall, gorgeous bronze complexion, with shoulder length dark hair and a dazzling smile, and almost a dead-ringer for tennis star Rafa Nadal. Although it looked like he had a back pocket full of those needle-thingies syringes in his scrubs, which I found scary and not in a good way.

Anyway, why was my BIL also fiercely checking him out, one hour into my sis's surgery? Last time I noticed, my BIL was interested in neither men nor tennis.

BIL gestures Needles Nadal over. Is he going to try to hook me up with the guy? Nice thought, but until my sis was out of surgery, even *I* was in no mood for flirting.

"Didn't I meet you a few hours ago? Aren't you my wife's anesthesiologist? And she's still in surgery?"

Okay, this is kind of unnerving.

Needles flashes a charming smile, "Yes, I set the epidural a little while ago, but don't worry, she has another team with her now."

BIL thanks him, and Needles returns to a table full of co-workers. BIL shakes his head, "There's at least 2-3 more people over there I think I recognize, that I met during the pre-op conference."

Apparently surgery is like major league baseball: you have your openers, your middle-relievers, and your closers. Who knew?

Also, the epidural? Not (quite) the same thing they give to mommies in labor; this thing stays in, taped to your back for days, and provides a continual drip of pain relief to the midsection where they performed the surgery. Judging by the questions the medical personnel asked, and the questions we asked, if an epidural is well placed, you have pain relief only where you need it, and not numbness of the chest, shoulders, legs, toes, or facial tingling, etc.

Needles stuck it in just right.

On the Second Day, USC Sent More Eyecandy

There were many incredible staff who took great care of my sis before, during, and after her surgery, but I failed to take pictures of any of them, because I wasn't yet thinking that way. (Sorry, Bill, you were amazing!) But on day two, when she was so much more coherent, and this ridiculously good-looking young resident came in to go over her treatment, I was struck by the idea that I needed to take some pictures of these hotties. Ran the idea by my sis, and she was up for it, then I went and asked Ryan if he'd be willing to pose and let us post pics on my sis's FaceBook page.

Yes, even though she's got more wires attached to her than Neo in The Matrix, my sis was smiling.
Let's hope Ryan's wife doesn't get too jealous.

As the day wore on, and my sister was watching people comment favorably on her/my #hottiedoctors FaceBook post, we decided to make it a series, if "her" men were willing to risk getting famous. Although there were many wonderful (and quite lovely) female nurses: Lesley, Emma, Stacey, Judy, and more, we decided to limit the pics to the Queen's (male) courtiers.

Yes, she was building an entourage.

Now that she's down in a regular room, with at least marginally fewer wires, she gets to charm the #sexymens all over again.

This is George, the latest victim conquest.

Things I Am (Re)Learning About Hospitals

Drier than the Sahara. Okay, maybe I exaggerate a trifle, but even though I bought and drank a couple bottled waters each, the first couple of days, I was still dry with chapped lips when I got home. I'm considering a Camelbackpack for my next stint.

It's really helpful to have a family member or friend present to advocate for the patient. Because nurses get busy and patients doze off and meanwhile, that blanket they requested 15 minutes ago? Simply being present to remind the staff to bring the blanket/ice/leg pressure machine pump thingie means that the patient gets better service. Squeaky wheels and all that.

Teaching hospitals are full of young, healthy, attractive and horny men and women. Waiting for (and in) various elevators and in the cafeteria, the past several days, I've been playing fly-on-the-wall and observing the mating dances. Grey's Anatomy got nothin on these peeps; the sexual undertones are almost palpable. (Btw, if you want to read hot medical romances, nobody does it better than Lynne Marshall.)

Distractions are happy-making for the person in the bed. Maybe that's collecting photos of a hot guy entourage, or talking about the holiday decorations, watching a movie (yes, they have movies on demand) or playing 'puter games. Also, bring something of your own to read/do for when the patient falls asleep, which s/he needs to do, in order to recover.

Interesting, educational and inspiring as it's been, I hope to be done with hospitals for a few eons, after this week ends. My sis has a long journey ahead of her; provided no complications arise from the surgery, she will begin chemotherapy once she is done with the post-surgery recovery period. And despite his ability to spot a hot anesthesiologist across a crowded room, my BIL has his own health challenges, which means that the rest of the family has to (and is) stepping it up to support my sister. So for me, even on my sloppy once-a-week posting I may skip around here and there, and not be as religious at blog-visiting-back as I might like.

Got hospital tips?
Happy stories?
Your thoughts?
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