Monday, February 25, 2013

The Deeper Horror of the Go Daddy Kiss

This commercial made me feel deeply ashamed of my own hypocrisy.

I admit it. I gagged.


My full range of knowledge about these two actors is that she is what we consider traditionally beautiful, and he is... not.

Oh, and that they both possess bodies capable of sitting in chairs. I also deduced they both have lips. And they certainly have tongues.

Are they nice people? 

Smart, funny? Is there any reason they couldn't be a couple? They're of similar age, they might share endless common interests, like anime, concern about genetically modified foods, and a groupie-level fascination with 80's hair bands like Dokken.

Okay, I admit - I am the one with a Dokken obsession.
Unchain the night, baby!

For all I know, Jesse Heiman (the glasses guy) has a tongue that won't quit and is packing a pecker a p0rn star would envy.

Yet to judge from the internet buzz, I was not the only one making the Beyoncé face.

via msn, where there are more hilarious Beyoncé face memes.

So why did I - why did we - react that way?

I am not a traditionally beautiful woman

English: George Clooney at the 2009 Venice Fil...
English: George Clooney at the 2009 Venice Film Festival (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Though occasionally I am smokin' hot, there are other times I look like the dog's breakfast. Generally I fall somewhere in between - my face doesn't scare small children, but I ain't causing traffic accidents when I walk down the street. 
I certainly don't want people to sneer at me as unworthy to be paired with a sexy guy (should George Clooney become available), based purely on my iffy looks. I know that I am much more than appears on the surface. Hey, I got skillz.

I've dated men of all different sizes, shapes, and skin tones. Plus I am very inquisitive nosy and people tell me things. So I can testify, many men (and women) who'd never grace a romance cover are amazing in bed, and some men who are hotties on the outside... Let's just say they have their shortcomings.

(Not implying that about you, George. But if you feel compelled to give me a demonstration, we could work something out.)

I'd like to blame society

You know, those people over there, not me - for being judgmental about people based solely on outward appearance. Reality: I am judgmental about appearances. Despite all I know on an intellectual level, despite my personal experiences and time-tested method of asking around, despite my resentment of people who might look at me and make superficial judgments, I myself am judgmental.

I may not go all Beyoncé face in public. When I see a "10" walking down the street with a "2," I may be able to zip my lips and not make a derogatory comment. But inside, that's my first, gut reaction.

I really, really don't like this about myself, and want to change my internal settings somehow, just as I'd like to reset my taste buds to remember kale as irresistibly delicious and chocolate as something nasty to be avoided.

They say the first step is awareness

for solving any problem. So, okay, I'm aware I'm a hypocrite. I'm also very conscious of being part of a society with a twisted concept of beauty that influences girls, boys, men and women to starve themselves, sometimes to death, to try to achieve that "perfect" outward appearance. To surgically add breasts, pecs, and fake butts, and suck out fat from other areas. Which sometimes works and other times leaves the recipient looking like a freak show exhibit. 

Oddly, I find I don't feel as judgmental on women (and men) who have plastic surgery, the facelifts, the tummy tucks, the Botox in the forehead, because I "get" the pressure of needing to feel young and sexy.

I've thought about trying to have my brain deprogrammed, but since it's awash in magazine ads and TV commercials telling us all that beauty = XYZ, any brainwashing might not stick. Besides, if it did stick, I might lose my crushes on Don Dokken and George Clooney, and my lack of patronage could singlehandedly crash the chocolate industry.

I guess I'll just have to work on not getting squicked out by public couples like Bar Refaeli and Jesse Heiman. (Though as a side note, the public tonsil-swallowing? Nobody wants to see that.) I will keep writing couples into my fiction work where the characters are not Cosmo Cover-ready, yet are sexy anyway. I will try to be aware of my prejudices, and supportive of people regardless of their appearance.

Have you ever felt judged harshly for being with a partner 
who was much more or less attractive than you?

Do you find yourself put off by couples who appear physically mismatched?

If so, how do you deal with it?
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