Thursday, August 25, 2011

Lost In Abbreviation, ISO Translation

from wishedauan at Free Disgital Photos
I don't text.  I barely Tweet (therefore, feel safe to Follow me, I will not fill your entire Tweetstream with what I had for breakfast.  Unless it was really tasty.)

So, I have been ISO (In Search Of) and scribbling notes on various textspeak abbreviations as each kindly young person who never dreamed that once upon a time, phones used to have cords, not keyboards, clues me in on them.

Recently, I even found a handy-dandy little book to explain some of them, but I swear some of the crap in there they must just make up.  I do not believe that most people think that PIMP stands for Peeing In My Pants, even if the letters work out.

However, in the spirit of passing it forward:

The Generics - Oldies But Goodies

MIL, FIL, SIL, BIL = Mother-In-law, Father-In-Law... You get the drill.

DH, DW, DS, DD = Dear (or Designated) Husband, Wife, Son, Daughter.

EX = The person who used to make your life miserable ( or still does).

FU = A rude sentiment that goes well with EX.

STBX = Soon To Be Ex.  See FU, above.

EOW = Every Other Weekend, often a child custody arrangement with EX.

Pop =  Not actually short for fathers, sodas or movie refreshments, but the word Popular, as in Pop Culture.

Peeps = People.  Used by peeps like me in an attempt to appear marginally less Jurassic.

Tweeps = People with whom you exchange Tweets.

LOL = Laughing Out Loud or Lots of Love.  Old, lame, and still widely used.

RL = Real Life, something constant texters need to check in on from time to time.

AFC = Away From Computer. 

BRB = Be Right Back.

BM = Bite Me.  (BM had a very different meaning, once upon a time.)

BTDT = Been There, Done That (with or without the T-shirt.)

BTW = By The Way.

KWIM? = Know What I Mean?  (If we did, would we have asked?)

CRAP = Cheap Redundant Assorted Products.  Or, that stuff you step in, with foot or mouth.

CYA = See ya (because that saves so many characters).

MYOB = Mind Your Own Business - always a good idea, so hard to do sometimes.

NG = No Good  (see Ex and STBX, above.)

DWS = Driving While Stupid. (Everyone has met this dude, or woman, on the road.)

FWB = Friends With Benefits.  Which everybody understands, even those who didn't see the movie.  Or, like I said at first, everybody.

FYI = For Your Information, which generally is the beginning of somebody saying something snotty and condescending.

GAL = Get A Life.  Clearly, some people should, but they're not the kind who would understand the message.

GF = Girlfriend or Go Figure.  For guys, pretty much the same thing.

GMAB = Give Me A Break.

IDK = I Don't Know, which more people should say, but don't.

HAND - Have A Nice Day.  I would never get this, I would swear the texter was sending some kind of obscene gesture.

IM or PM = Instant Messaging/Private Message.

KIR = Keep It Real.  Mostly used by peeps who are much too lame to make it work.

JK or J/K = Just kidding.

PD = Personality Disorder.  OCPD, NPD, BPD, and others conditions which are diagnosable mental disorders, not simply somebody being a jackhole.

PO = Pissed Off.  Probably at STBX (who might, in fact, have a PD.)

ROFL = Rolling On Floor Laughing, which JIC (Just In Case) you were wondering, is not really done.

RSVP = Respondez S'il Vous Plait.  French for asking guests to politely respond to an invitation so the poor frazzled hosts know how much food to buy.  Except that peeps who are too self-important and rude always think it's okay if they don't give a yes or no, until the very last minute, if then.  Until they give their own parties and then get really POed at peeps who don't RSVP.

RU = Are You, usually followed by something else, which may or may not make sense.

SHB = Should Have Been.

SOP = Standard Operating Procedure, the way things SHB done, but rarely were.

SNAFU = Situation Normal, All F--ked Up. (We've all been there, haven't we?)

SSDD = Same Sh-t, Different Day.

STFU = Shut The F--k Up.  If certain peeps had only learned to do this, they might not be STBX.

TAFN = That's All For Now.  I always visualize Porky Pig stammering from the WB logo when I see this.

TANSTAAFL = There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch.  Popularized by my hero, Robert A. Heinlein, in the book, below, to explain how the things you get for "free," like food in a bar, always cost you more in the long run.

via Wikimedia
TBA = To Be Announced/Advised.  Not to be confused with TSA, the peeps who show you all that love at the airport.

TCOB = Takin' Care of Business, a great song by BTO (Bachman-Turner Overdrive) before it became a office supply commercial.

TGIF - Thank God/Goddess/Goodness It's Friday.  Especially after a week of TCOB.

TTYL = Talk To You Later, because you don't know if it'll be in five minutes or five days.

TMI = Too Much Information, like when your hard-of-hearing grampa gives you a blow by blow description of his hemorrhoid surgery.

VM = Voice Mail.  For those dinosaurs (like me) who don't text, you might need to leave them one.

WFM = Works For Me.

WTF = What The F--k!

WYSIWYG = What You See Is What You Get, mostly now applied to computer formatting, but once upon a time, was a punchline for genius comedian Flip Wilson, in his Geraldine Jones persona.

NSFW = Not Safe For Work.  Kills if you are buzzing along on your blog reading on your lunch break on your work computer and suddenly you come to a site that would be very hard to explain to your boss.  If you write smut, I adore you with every wet or dry cell of my body, but for goshsakes don't tweet a link to something without adding NSFW if it's too smexy.

Specific to Writing

MS = Manuscript; though these are rarely written by hand anymore, the name lingers.

ARC = I always thought it stood for character arcs, or Noah's, but it stands for Advance Reading Copy

MC = Main Character, or if you're a wedding organizer, the Master/Mistress of Ceremonies

SSP = Sooper Sekrit Projekt (thanks @maiseyyates)

SYN = Synopsis, not short for sin, although most writers find creating one a fairly evil experience.

WIP = Work In Progress.  Like hundred dollar bills, having several of these is a good thing.

TBR = To Be Read.  A list that for me, grows faster than I have even faint hopes of catching up.

from Maggie Smith at Free Digital Photos

OTN = On The Nose.  Dialogue that is too pat, and well, on the nose.  "Oh, Bartholomew, I want to bone you till your head explodes, and yet, I sense that you believe I'm lustful and crude."

POV = Point of View, something writers should keep straight but don't, always.

AYKB = As You Know, Bob.  Used by unskilled or lazy writers to insert backstory via ridiculous dialogue: "As you know, Bob, we've been friends since second grade."

SF = Science Fiction, or Surfer Friendly (talk about alternate worlds!)

YA = Young Adult

MG = Middle Grade, not that cute sporty roadster

MA = Mature Audiences.  As in, erotica or extreme violence, not as in the Centrum Silver crowd.  Not to say that Grandma doesn't enjoy her some smexy cowboy stories.

Got more abbreviations to share?
Please be a pal (not be confused with PAL, Parents Are Listening)
and share in the comments, below.

P.S.  TCOB myself, family stuff, so I may not post for a little while, following this, and may have a slight lag approving your comment.  Will be approving & writing new posts & visiting your blogs as soon as time allows.  ~Mwah!