Monday, October 3, 2011

Ten Lessons the Universe Keeps Trying to Teach Me
But I'm Too Slow to Learn

Sometimes the Universe comes to us and teaches us lessons.  Sometimes a horrific - or wonderful thing happens; perhaps it's some profound bit of wisdom a friend shares, or something we overhear in line at the grocery store.  Maybe it's some inspirational thing we see on Pinterest, for cryin' out loud.

At any rate, that lesson only happens once, yet it's embedded in our hearts and lives forever.

And sometimes the Universe tries to teach us, in fact, gives us the same lesson, over and over again, and we don't seem to catch on.  At least, I don't.  Here's ten lessons I can't seem to master:

  1. The plans I make for the weekend, all the writing, housecleaning, socializing, reading, blah blah, woof woof, I think I'm going to get done over the weekend?  I never get but a fraction of it done, and yet, every week, I live in hope, that this time...

  2. The spare battery for the camera is much more useful when carried on my person, along with the camera, rather than left at home in the charger.

  3. When possessed by crazy inspired to buy new eyeshadow at the drugstore, I should not get carried away and put it on in the car, right before meeting friends for lunch.  It always looks like it was applied by a laboratory chimp - and not one of the super-dextrous, smart ones, but one of the ones that they've been feeding lead paint chips to for all its life and it's had a stroke besides, poor thing. 

    After application and horrified realization that This is Not A Good Look for Me, said eyeshadow always turns out to be impossible to tone down, so I am faced with a) trying to make the other side equally atrocious, so at least I match, or, b) rubbing the side I've done so far in a futile attempt to remove said makeup, until eye area is red and swollen like I've lost a boxing match.

  4. Never presume a sandwich won't contain onions, even if every other item they add to said sandwich, right down to the parsley, is detailed on the menu, and there is no logical reason why the sandwich should contain onions.   I suspect there's an Onion Mafia, who makes sure that on every job, a certain number of their brethren get hired on, ya know whatta mean?

  5. No matter how many times I point the stereo remote control at the air conditioner, or vice versa, and click the on/off button, it's not gonna work.

  6. I always displace more water in the bathtub than I think I will.

  7. Cats are supremely indifferent to the rule that says we can sleep late on the weekend, and no amount of begging, pleading and reasoning will convince them to STFU.

  8. All ex-boyfriends are twenty times more charming, sexy, and kind in memory than they were in real life.  (Stop haunting my dreams, A-hole!)

  9. The dish that I thought about taking out of the freezer to defrost, but then got sidetracked and never did - that's what I'm always craving when dinner time rolls around.

  10. Much like the cat, no amount of pleading, whining, and begging will prevent Monday from intruding upon my life.
via Dieter Karner from Flickr
One great thing that happened last weekend, was I got to meet up with the brain trust (2/3 of it, anyway) behind SoCal Lady Bloggers.  If you blog, if you're in SoCal, and if your genitals are more flowery than otherwise (in other words, no boys allowed!) you can join, too.  While it's not prospecting in the Yukon, blogging can be a lonely and challenging existence, and being able to share face time with others who understand our struggles and can offer tips and support is invaluable.

These ladies are smart, beautiful, and all around awesome - and so was our server at Dukes, the lovely Ms. V who put up with an amazing amount of bullshit delightful banter and kept the drinks and the food flowing.

And we were at the beach, and it was BE-YOO-TIFUL, weather & temperature wise. (Note - the picture, top left, is not from Duke's, though it's similar to what the water and rocks looked like.  See point #2 about camera batteries.)

How about you?  
Does the Universe keep repeating certain lessons for you?
Or are you so smart you never forget any of them?