Ten Ways Writers Are Like Zombies

Zombie bearing flower - how sweet!
from steevithak at Flickr

I've struggled to figure out the zombie mystique, though reading Sommer Marsden (Big Bad, We Kill Dead Things) helped greatly.  Finally it dawned on me, how much writers and zombies have in common.  We're brothers and sisters under the skin. (Well, if zombies had skin.)


Ten Ways Writers Are Like Zombies

1. Zombies stumble around seeking brains.
   Writers stumble around seeking coffee (or in my case, Mt.  Dew).
   
   
2. There is no real logic as to why zombies exist.  They just have this overwhelming need to be zombies.
   There is no real logic as to why people write.  Whether they never sell a single book, or sell millions, they just have this overwhelming need to write.
   
   
3. Zombies are often incoherent and impossible to understand.
   Writers... yep.  Especially pre-caffeine.
   
   
4. Zombies roam the world, leaving mangled corpses and fragments of flesh in their wake.
   Writers roam the Internet, leaving mangled prose and sentence fragments in their wake.
   
   
5. Zombies movies are often so bad they cross the line to hilarious entertainment.
   Books, poetry and scripts are often so bad they cross the line to hilarious entertainment.
   
   
6. Zombies smell disgusting and wear ragged clothing full of holes and stains.
   Writers in the middle of a writing/editing jag smell... Wait, is that just me?
   
   
7. Zombies lack a steady source of income, yet somehow, they survive.
   Writers always lack a steady source of income, yet somehow...
   
   
8. Zombies may be entertaining from a distance, but you wouldn't want your sister to marry one.
   You wouldn't want your sister to... well, unless your sister already did.  Or unless your sister is the writer.
   
   Oh dear.  This is awkward.
   
   
9. Zombies don't have a lot of friends.
   Writers who consistently insult other writers *looking at sky and whistling* don't keep a lot of friends.
   
   Countless people love dressing up as zombies at Halloween.
   Countless people love dressing up as writ.
   
   
10. Zombies are misunderstood, tortured creatures who just need a little love.  (And brains.)
    Writers are misunderstood, tortured creatures who just need a little love.  (And sometimes, brains.)

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Got some zombie (or writer) love?

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 so the zombies other readers know where to find you.

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P.S. Speaking of writer love - you can still get in on the Jeremy Robinson Kindle Give-Away - provided you sign up by the end of October.  And tell him Beverly sent ya.